Where ya goin'...till tomorrow?

We didn't do anything for Valentine's day. Sonny was stuck at the office all night and I was stuck right along with him. Even still, it was better to be in a warm, dry office griping about a missed romantic opportunity, than wandering around town in a pair of fishnets in the middle of frigging winter. So, V-Day 05 still reigns as The Worst One, so far.

It occurred to me today over lunch, that my life right now is at a stand still. Not really a "stand still". I'm kind of slipping backward. My ambition might as well be buried 7 feet into the earth. I dig Oberlin College(gorgeous campus, hip student body and a fab little college town). The problem? Well, greenbacks my friend. $$$. I'm more broke than a leg-less chair. And tuition there is a little piece of a fortune. So, after I finished choking down that tidbit of info, I decided to set my sights on Lorain County's Community College. I must say, there aren't any courses there that *grab* me. It's just another college. That's not to say it's a crappy college. But at this point I need a kick in the pants. I need that next step. And the business school I went to was *basically* a waste of time. I don't want to keep treading water, I want to start doing laps and building up my atrophying muscles. I think it's time I made some intense and jarring decisions. I mentioned to Sonny that I had fleeting thoughts about moving back to NY for awhile, enrolling in a worthwhile college and working my ass off to get to that next step. It just doesn't make sense to remain in neutral for the next year or so, while Sonny fulfills his own destiny. I need my own footing. Especially before I begin having children. I must.

Of course, that poses very obvious problems and all kinds of issues. Like for one, where the hell am I going to stay if I move back there? For various (and very annoying) reasons I can't move into my mom's pad. And there's the small matter of a job. I know where I would love to work (the last place I worked), but I'd be kidding myself if I thought I could just slip back into my former life with reckless dreams and seamless precision. Just reckless dreaming...