And her name...is Jasmine

It wasn't an "I" initial ring, it was a "J". I'm beginning to wonder if I'll see this person walking down the street. It's a strange feeling to have a dream about such a developed character. I could almost describe her likes and dislikes, her passions and her fears. I told Sonny about her, let him read my blog and waited patiently as he absorbed the whole thing. He deduced that the dream symbolizes my newly acquired"self-acceptance". That I've "liberated" myself from "the burden of being friends with that guy" *see last post* and that is a sign that I'm more comfortable in my own skin. I suppose I can accept that a little better than the sexually repressed explanation. I dunno.

We're getting down to the wire now! People are trying to contact me, needing to know the next step as we close in on the date of my wedding. I'm not nervous...yet. I'm wishing I was tranquil and cool and having F-U-N like I've heard you're supposed to be. I'm more like: aggravated, stuffing my cellphone in the bottom of my purse (on vibrate) and loathing the thought of constructing a 'seating arrangement'. Boy. I sound crabby as hell! Everyone keeps telling me to remember what's most important here. It isn't his family's reluctance at being apart of this, it isn't my family's insistence on inviting random people and telling me only if I ask, and it's not about spending ourselves into severe debt. It's about the connecting of two souls, the celebration of love and the embracing of all our friends and family as we begin this life journey together. ::sniff, sniff:: I'm making myself all teary over here!!

My thoughts also shift and linger with my old crew back in New York. I had this awesome job with great co-workers. Mainly, we answered phones for a hunger hotline. But ultimately we were therapists, sounding boards, kind hearts, co-conspirators, guiding lights, informational sockets and very down-to-earth operators. I have them to thank for my upgrade into modern technology. Director's commentary is sweet! But Katrina is wreaking havoc down south and I know the old crew is sweating up a storm (no pun intended). I hope they're covered... and that 3 sets of ears are on board and not just 2.

Why, Katrina? WHY?