When you let me in, it's like a thousand Julys...

The cats and their female owner (moi) are pacing around the house, twitching our shoulders in time to the consistent ratta-tat of rainbow fireworks and noisy fire crackers. We're all solemn faced and I am annoyingly sober... even after a couple coconut rum and cokes. The cats seem worried and a little pensive, as I am. They probably think the world is coming to an end out there, and are wondering why I'm not curled up in a corner of the living room with dilated pupils waiting for the sounds to stop...like they are. I'm just praying that our roof doesn't kindle with a stray spark.

My dad texted me a few fatherly-sweet tips about my driving test tomorrow. I don't know why, but my stomach dropped when I found myself thinking about the test. I could feel my knees quaking a little, my mind tortured itself with playback of my horrible attempts at maneuverability in the cramped little parking lot on Thursday and Friday. I must not give in to the catepillars crawling over my innards, the immature worm-babies of a full-blown nervous break down about a stupid test. I must fumigate my anxiety and nurture my confidence...kill the butterflies. I cannot succumb to my screaming thoughts of premonitions marked in red permanent ink...failure.

Still no luck with the job search here. This county is in bad shape economically. I've been considering freelancing. I'm not a bad writer, I just need to get polished and experienced. It's tiring putting so much energy into a long shot. The job market here is a huge long shot. It's like going to the race track and putting all you got on the sickest, weakest horse there is...and watching it lag behind, straying off to the left and right, concentrating with all your gray matter, praying for a miracle, jaw clenched, fists tight and heart thumping like the hooves across the passive earth. Should we name that horse "Some Kinda Miracle"? Or maybe "Come on Lucky"?

Anyway, I'm going tomorrow to try and join the other lucky bastards and proudly tote a driver's license. Wish me luck, folks. And happy 4th!