Man it's a hot one, like 7-in. from the midday sun...

I hear you whispering the words that melt everyone, but you stay so cool. Yeah, I'm digging out the old Santana/ Rob Thomas summer theme song "Smooth". Let me just say, Rob Thomas is a hot motherfucker. He looks kinda gay sometimes, but that's a part of his charm. I managed to secure his solo album before I left NY. My opinion is this: he and Gwen Stefani need to get back with their bands. I heart Gweny, trust me. I think she's awesome and I love her music...with No Doubt. They have this polished flow, this comfortably worn harmony. Just like Rob Thomas and Matchbox 20. It's like cutting those vintage Levi's that make your ass look amazing into daisy dukes. It's just not RIGHT! I'll take the whole or nothing. It's just too weird.

The heat out here in Ohio is alarming. I'm baking in this place. The basement is the coolest part of the house, and I am NOT about to lounge around in that cobwebby, ghost-haven of a 'cellar'. Ok so maybe I haven't seen any ghosts down there. But explain to me why my cats drift down there, curiously, whiskers twitching with excitement... and then, 5 minutes later come darting up the stairs with dilated pupils and the fear of God all over them. LOL...What if we've got a racoon? That shit would be funny...for like 2 seconds. Then we've got to call animal control.

So I got my temporary learner's packet on Monday. And I scheduled my road test, along with a few lessons before the road test. I'm not as excited as I thought I would be. Confidentially, it fucking sucks. I've always had this strange thing about me. I hate to have to do something. If you make it a requirement that takes the fun out of it. That's probably true for a lot of people. In NY I was content to be surrounded by a bunch of straphangers who declared their intentions to stay that way for the rest of their lives. I would've been a commodity to have a license and a car. A crazy ass commodity (the insurance would've forced me to live in the car instead of an apartment). Out here, they crank out drivers early. It's not unusual to see the 16-year-old daughter of one of Sonny's friends pulling into the garage with the ease of a seasoned pro. I'm still doing that awful underestimating thing that makes the car slam off the curb and accelerate inappropriately...worried that I'm too close to an object only to discover I'm about 4 feet away. Alls I need is a set of pink hair curlers, some pink fuzzy slippers and a cigarette...and then I'll be the perfect cantankerous, crotchety, complaining (alot of "c" words there) old bitty. Next thing you know I'll be blogging on Medicare. Sheesh.

On Wednesday I threw my oppressive caution to the wind, mounted my bike and rode downtown to the library. It cooled off alot by then, it was 6 in the evening. The sky was darkening, threatening rain as I pedaled past the indifferent motorists. They would flick on their wipers and reduce their speed by 5mph. I had funky visions of a lightening bolt spliting the sky and frying my ass...I gradually increased my speed, pushing my ten-speed on the quiet side streets of Lorain. I felt so good, so gorgeous, so ME. I haven't felt that way since I landed here. I realized in the whirl of sweat and fresh cut grass, in the caressing wind, embracing me like a lover, in the random beeps after my quickly moving derriere... I realized I haven't seen ME in a couple weeks. It felt so good to feel complete again. To ride the uneven sidewalks with a smirk, and flirt with disaster on the pavement, to give the townsfolk a dose of my madness...Kryptonite lock looped around my waist, my black 'wifebeater' tightening around my chest as I pressed the brakes, a false grimace on my lips, promising a sudden and quick acceleration, that I never had to deliver. It felt wonderful to whiz past bars with doors flung open, sound spilling out onto the street and to see the eyes of some menfolk, the look they displayed. I know they watched me ride past and thought, "That's something else." Good, bad, crazy or not, it just felt good to be seen and wondered about.