Two for Tuesday

So I don't usually post twice in a day...but I felt I needed to today. I went to sign into AIM and they had this stick figure with blonde hair and big feet on the opening page. I realized after a second or two that it was Hilary Duff! Now, I'm no huge fan of the kid. I saw the cartoon every once in a blue and I copped her first album (won't go near the second) because "So Yesterday" was banging in my brain. (Credit is due when a person who can't really sing puts out a rocking single. Helloooo J.LO!) Anyway, they had a series of actresses on a slide show. Hypnotized by the bullshit, I followed the link and went through each photo (the shame of it all) surveying the skinny women. It's like those 'loid rags at the supermarket check-out. Not many of us care a flying fuck about Jen and Ben or Jen and Brad. Yet why do we snag one and voraciously read before we buy our stuff? They are: rich, perfect, in perpetual summertime, and did I mention rich? Heartache...misery is a human thing; Paparazzi: Let the people experience being real in peace!

Anyway I grew increasingly concerned with every picture. Have you seen Drew Barrymore? I mean...where is she? She turns to the side and disappears! Nicole Richie shocked the shit out of me. I was looking at absurdly expensive clothes on-line and came across the Bongo website. She looks horrible! A good stiff wind would drag her ass to Canada! Is this a trend? Being unhealthily skinny like that! My little impressionable sisters are flipping through the People magazines and seeing this. Seeing that no one in Hollywood wants to be kissed with the "fat girl" curse. Even that girl from "Real Women Have Curves" lost some of hers. WTF!!? I, personally, felt betrayed when I saw her swaggering with the thin chicks in that "Sisterhood of the Traveling pants" commercial. Couldn't bring myself to watch the movie. She certainly doesn't look like she did when she wowed that little blanquito with her womanly mass, or defied her mother in the sweltering heat of the dress factory and danced to salsa over her work... stripped to her underwear. She's so...compact now.

I had a class called public speaking in college. I hated the class. I'm deathly afraid of making a mistake in front of a crowd, so I convince myself that I'll fuck up and I do. But I decided to make my final speech count. Make it something I could do without much aid from notes. So, I spoke about body image. I spoke about how ridiculous it's getting, that you can't have a little baby fat to soften your edges without feeling self-conscious. I mentioned how plus sized clothes are making millions every year. How the average woman is a size 10, not a 2. I also talked about how long it took me to accept my own thick waist and come to terms with the fact that my size 9 days are long behind me. If I become a size 9 again, I'll be very ill and probably in need of medical attention. I'm a size 12, and while I see my flaws and work to rectify them, I also see the beauty in me. Ultimately, I think that's the most important thing: self-appreciation.

Who says skinny is a rule of measure for beauty?