Before you go any further...

Why on earth do people say "No offense" before they say something highly offensive? I've always wondered about that. That's like saying "No pain" before I kick the hell out of your shins. Of course it's still going to hurt! Demanding that you deny the pain is not going to prevent it. I also despise "I hope you don't mind my asking". For all that, you should just take a chance and ask the damn question. Why get me all geared up to hate you for asking a potentially anger-invoking question? Why not just get it out and see if I mind your asking.

I'm as American as a Ford vehicle, but these things still cause me to pause for a moment. It's like being politely rude. Things have been this way for a long time now. Hell, I can remember growing up and my mom would always get in my ass for coming home with missing barrettes and missing ribbons; my hair would be a tangled mess. Why? Because the girls in my class loved to take each other's hair out and play in it.... and then quietly pocket the shiny, Goode ponytail bo-bos (colorful, plastic, double ended ponytail ties) and plastic snap barrettes. "Oh you have nice hair lemme braid it" while they're securing your hair accessories. And securing that ass-whooping when you get home.

Oh well....