Like looking in someone else's closet

That's how I've felt lately when I pull open those doors and stare at all my stuff. I can pluck anything out and try to wriggle my ass into it. The result is the same each time. It don't fit. I'm waiting for someone to ask me when I'm expecting. I'll nod, look a the floor and sock em in the mouth. LOL. In my mind, I will.

Just the other day I surveyed my body in a full length mirror. I've never been this big in my life. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not one of those unreasonable, cellulite-phobes whose warped sense of self body-image launches them into eating disorders and bad health. That's not me. And I'm not thinking about being super thin. My scale will never read 112lbs and I'm fine with that. If it did, I'd be serious trouble.

Still, I was about 30lbs lighter in NY. Mostly I think it was just the sheer amount of walking that was necessary to function in NY. I walked all the time. And I loved it! Around here, it's just impractical and damn near impossible. The solution: Sonny and I are in the market for a car. Seriously. There are some nights where I'm at work until 11pm because Sonny is working late. There's no reason why I can't be taking bellydancing lessons(in my living room with that video tape I bought), or sweating it out at the gym or taking karate lessons. It's a waste of time, and it makes me depressed. By 8pm I've already downed a whole bag of SunChips, mindlessly. And my office has no windows. It's a small space. The whole thing is just super depressing. How much can one girl take?

Anyway, I've got my eye out for a Grand Am. I love those things... even if they do have a bad rep. Dude, did I mention I got my license in December? I tend to skip details sometimes. I think I did though.