Happy Holidays!!!

I think that covers everyone. *smiles* Happy Holidays folks. And a happy new year to you as well. May 2006 be truly and unbelievably awesome. :)

"Christmas is awesome...you can get drunk and no one can say anything"

Ok. So today is the day where you can't say or hear the words "Merry Christmas" enough. It's office party day. You're probably going to an office party tonight, aren't you? We had ours as a luncheon. It was extremely awkward...for me at least. They brought up trays of food and began situating the stuff at around 11am. People had started chowing down by 11:30. Personally, my stomach hurts if I eat 'lunch foods' too early. It's probably a psychological thing. But anyway...I loaded up my plate for lunch at 1pm, and dragged my plate back to my desk.

We exchanged Secret Santa gifts this morning. That part of the whole office celebration has always caused me grief. Usually, I just arrive somewhere, and don't know anything about the person I've got to buy for. So, I stumble through the body washes and perfumes and girly things (I always get a woman when I draw). What if they're allergic? What if they hate the scent? It's just a big mess. This year at least I had a list to help me out. The Secret Recipient wrote down what they wanted, I went out and got. Totally stress free. >sigh<

Merry Christmas Everybody...

It's been awhile...since I said I'm sorry

Yes. I've been very neglectful. The past few days I have been losing my mind. The wind down of NanoWriMo has been fun. Although, I'm not writing as much as I ought to be. I'm going through an icky health scare, with a count down of one week to visit the doc for a second opinion. I'm shaken, and a little pissed at the 'health care' I received at this first place. And they want $90 for being careless, incompassionate and flippant. BASTARDS!!

In other news, I've been following the work of that fashion model, ex-classmate of mine. She's doing very well. I've read that she's got a recurring role in an upcoming soap opera/sitcom thingie. She's using her money to start a program in her country for less fortunate girls to acheive their modeling dreams. All of which is very cool. But. . . I've also read that she's getting into writing. At this point, I cringe and sigh.

Think of it: You are a talented, little known musician with a powerful voice and your own cute little dance routines. You book your own shows, make contacts to go on tour, work with a moonlighting producer in his basement studio to put out your first CD, you work your butt off to promote your songs, get air play on the radio and eventually get signed. Blood, sweat and tears go into your craft. And it's special to you because of that. Now, let's check out Hilary Duff or Lindsay Lohan, who were gold-plated because they had a career in Hollywood. No disrespect, but if you compare yourself to Lindsay, you want to know "What's she got that I haven't?" the answer: Contacts. Someone who knows someone who is the CEO of Big Boy Records or whatever label will take on the work.

If you apply this scenario to writing, it's a similiar experience. Contacts and name recognition is a part of the game. Think about it. If a lesser known porno star had written that "porn queen confessional" instead of Jenna Jameson, who would've bought it? Would it have hit the NY Times bestseller's list? (I seem to remember it being there, though I could be wrong)

Do you see where I'm going with this? There's this self-published book that I had the chance to sample, and the author is good. His name is Alfonso Mangione (you can google it). Right now, my money is being siphoned right out of my wallet with a golden straw (D-E-B-T) but I will seriously buy this young man's book. Why? Because he's talented. It's an engaging and well-written piece of fiction. But he may never "make it" to the status his writing deserves. Why? The big break is elusive. It's good to have the contacts. All the elements that go into a success that are completely out of the author/musician/dancer/artist/actor's hands, are quite possibly the most annoying and unpredictable.... at least for us regular folk.

It seems to me we'll be seeing a novel written for this young lady very shortly. Still, I remain steadfast in my belief that it doesn't make sense to be jealous of another person. I refuse to ignore the nagging annoyance that goes along with the knowledge that she will pursue writing. So, instead of pouting, and concentrating an evil eye at her pictures via Google, I will finish my novel... I will publish my novel... and I will follow through with something in my life. It makes no sense to cry about what you don't have. If it's truly missing, go and get it!

Aren't I just f*#%ing ray of sunshine today? ;)

Day Thirty: It's over!

So, maybe I'm not a 50k winner of the National Novel Writing Month Marathon. But, I played the game, and gleefully lost my mind, forgot how to spell, confused ketchup for my soft drink a few times a lunch. I'm feeling damn good! It's funny how when I would tell people how strenuous and back-breaking it is to have a quota of 2,000 words a day to write, they all look at me and ask why are you doing this? Well, if I knew all the reasons why I shouldn't be writing a novel in one month...I probably wouldn't have attempted it. Best not think about that.... ::shudder:: I guess it's due in part to the fact that my good friend and I have this bet going on, which, unlike most bets, started innocently enough.... We used to work together at a small, dinky library in New York and one day he broke out into song as we worked. "Ooohh, Life is what you make it..." he sang softly. I laughed, and looked at him and asked, "Is it really?" That question spurred an in-depth conversation about destiny and self-imposed obstacles. We finally decided to live our lives in a way that would prove the song right (we hoped). He's a talented musician and writer, and I'm certain he'll prove us both right very soon. I, on the other hand, am stumbling, fumbling and tripping through discouraged states of lowness and euphoric writing highs.

I am also in a bit of a slump right now every time I flip through my most recent Victoria’s Secret catalog. No, it’s not for the reason that you may think. Although, I do feel a little guilty for that ice cream cone I had after dinner if I flip through there. I just remind myself that the average size for women is about a 12. I keep seeing in Vicky’s magazine and in some main stream magazines this girl. She’s tall and thin and caramel colored…and she’s an old classmate of mine. Now mind you, I am not jealous of her success. I still believe, as I have for all of my adult life, that being jealous is a waste of time. While you’re busy seething and ranting about what others have, you could be doing your best to get your own. I mean, if you got something wonderful and I didn't, I figure it's a part of God's divine plan. We're not Communists. We can't all share one iPod Nano or crowd into our neighbor's living room to watch his new plasma, universe-sized, super-deluxe television. It just doesn't work that way. So here I am discecting her situation and wondering how she got so successful. Was it purely connections? Was she just that damn ambitious? What is the magic formula that she used to attain and realize her dreams? Frankly, I'm happy for her. I've refrained from using her name...that's just not my style. But, she was always focused in high school and very sure of herself and what she wanted out of life. I suppose her success is a symptom of such rigorous discipline and self-assurance. Discipline... Self-Assurance....

Life is what you make it :)